Jay and Tay

My wonderful boyfriend showed up first thing Monday morning to surprise me in Orlando. It had only been a week since I had seen him last but already I was missing him like crazy. He got the address from my roommate and let her know that he would be here for the weekend. He had duty the night before so he was running on no sleep but he made the 4 hour drive anyway. He called at 9 am ( which is when he normally gets off) and told me that he was off of work and was about to go to sleep. As soon as we hung up the door bell rang. Much to my surprise there he was! We spent a great few days together. I showed him around my building, we floated around the lazy river , we went shopping and he even taught me how to golf! We played 2 of the 4 courses on the property and we laughed most of the time (that is when I was not getting frustrated with myself). He was a great teacher and very encouraging. I even made par on one of the holes! I will have to say one of the greatest moments of these few days was when we got stuck on the golf course in the rain. We drove the golf cart off the path and under some low hanging trees and there we sat just me Jay and the rain. It’s was incredibly sweet and these are the moments that I will always cherish! Any amount of time that I am able to spend with him is nothing short of incredible but with our days before his deployment being limited I want to spend every last second laughing, loving and making memories with him.



He is leaving at the end of this month to go back to Iraq and oh how bad it hurts! I mean how is this even fair? I just got him back! For those of you who don’t know, Jason and I dated for about a year and a half when I was in high school. We were incredibly in love but way too young. We broke up, he joined the Army, I transferred schools to the University of Memphis and we both began our lives without one another (even though I’ve always known that he was the one). He later called me before he left to go to Germany just to let me know that he was leaving and to tell me that he would always care about me. I wanted to tell him then that I still thought about him often and that I still loved him but I didn’t want to burden him with all of those emotions right before he left. He seemed strong and sure about the decisions he was making in his life and I certainly did not want to be the one who made him call those choices into question. So I told him that it was good to hear from him and to be safe and that he would always be in my prayers. I cried for days after talking to him and I beat myself up for just letting him go so easily. I figured that if it was what he wanted then he would make it known. So a few years went by and here we are now, back together and happier than ever. It’s bittersweet and slightly ironic. We go all these years without one another and then FINALLY everything is right in our world once more and now he will be leaving for 6 months! It just really does not seem fair (hold your “life isn’t fair speeches” It’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to).



I know this is the military life, I knew what I was getting myself into, and I understand that I am being incredibly selfish. But just to think about him leaving feels like someone is literally sucking the air right from my chest. It’s almost unbearable and the closer it gets the more emotional I get. I never knew that I could love one person so entirely. I mean it’s crazy I truly feel invincible with him by my side. He brings this sense of peace to my life that I’ve never experienced. I can just be myself and that is enough for him. To hear his voice or see his sweet face puts a smile on my face like no other. I am terrified, mad, sad, and any other emotion that you can think of, at the thought of him leaving but I know that we will make it through this. We are both strong individually and our strength as a couple is even greater. I am so very very proud of the incredible man that he is and I am so thankful to be able to call him mine once more. I will miss him dearly but he is well worth the wait!

So until he returns I will be patiently waiting for my soldier, my friend, my love.